Women who seek to be equal with men, lack ambition.

Time Will Tell

2011-05-17T22:44:00.000-07:00

2011-03-22T02:12:00.000-07:00

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”

— Elizabeth Gilbert

2010-05-12T03:26:00.000-07:00

2010-04-01T00:27:00.000-07:00

Men will love girls, while women will love boys. Love will only last when both men and women will love each other.

via http://dooodot.tumblr.com/

2010-04-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

It's getting there ...

2010-03-24T22:16:00.001-07:00

2010-03-18T02:10:00.000-07:00

If the man you're with is already great, is it too selfish to imagine that you can do even better?

2010-02-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

If I were a superhero

2010-01-26T00:03:00.000-08:00

my superpower would be to not fall in love with another human being.

Won't come crawling back to you, atleast not wearing these.

2010-01-20T22:01:00.000-08:00

2010-01-11T00:28:00.000-08:00

But if you want that, it's a wrap and I won't look back, I won't look back. And I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired of being your unofficial girl.

2010-01-10T00:59:00.000-08:00

I just want a place in this world that voids me of any emotions.

Suffering Wallet-itis

2010-01-05T02:24:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I really would like to wonder what it's like to not have a car or not go to school and do nothing but make money and buy a nice pair of wheels (and a pair of heels). I don't want to rant right about now ... BUT owning a car is a pain in the ASS. AND! I'm not talking about

"Oh jeez, my new two-seater-high-roller-big-pimpin-shiny-car that my parents bought me and put the down on because I don't make my own money ... Is in need of oil change/tire replacement/new alternator or what have you, needs to be fixed. It's ok I'll just get money from my parents and cruise down to the shop because I need to pick up my hoe pronto."

Okay okay, maybe the last part was the 'just kidding' part. But HONESTLY, I know a handful of my own peers that are quasi-like that, no joke. I'm talking about owning your own and having to deal with the fear of breaking down at a light type of owning a car and I also know a few of my friends who are in the same shoes as me. Good thing about them is they know a little som'something about cars and they help me out. And today I felt the pain of having to drive to Wheel Works and get er done AND had to pay for the whole damn thing myself.

I understand when my mom says "Hey you want to go out so handle your own biz and take care of your car". But REALLY? I don't go anywhere besides school and work and sometimes drive to San Fran to see my boo thang. BUT REALLY, if I lived in a place where a car was not needed like SAN FRAN, I would not have to worry about this shit. I live in suburb ass Sunnyvale where public transportation is only somewhat reliable, and trust me I've taken it for years in high school and it's a PAIN. Just to get to De Anza would take me almost maybe 30 to 45 mins max and cost me about 2 bucks. YEAH RIGHT.
Anyways, I'd rather not get run over by bad drivers who attend de anza, who would rather bump foreign music in their car than pay attention to who's crossing streets.

So now my paycheck that I was planning to spend on snowboarding is down to let's say around 80 bucks. Alright, that's cool. That's like one lift ticket and gas. Sick!

Wait ... the quarter just started. Four classes?! Wait, what else .... Oh yeeeeeah ... BOOKS.

SHIT.

p.s. It's really a pain in the ass to drive a car that needs constant maintenance when you know your parents drive really nice new cars, and I mean REALLY NICE NEW CARS. Comprende?

Last New Year's Eve ...

2010-01-03T02:23:00.000-08:00

They say 'how you spend your new year's eve is how you spend the rest of your year'. I guess they were kinda right, I spent last New Year's Eve partying penthouse style in Las Vegas with my dad's friends, in n out in one hand and beer in the other, with my dad's friends and my little bro, and texting my boyfriend how much I wished he was there.

I spent 2009 uber spoiled with a lot of things I never expected, carbs and meat in one hand a beer in the other, hanging out or partying with my moms friends of her age, and texting Andrew how i wish he was 'here' wherever I was at the time whenever I was out partying or vacationing.

I guess that's okay, not really what I planned.

2009 New Year's Eve, I spent 3 hours getting ready, driving to San Francisco and expecting to go the Embarcadero finding out that Andrew and I can't go. Ended up in Japantown eating sushi for dinner and going home fighting and sad that I didn't get to see any fireworks. But we did just hung out in front of the tv and watched Where The Wild Things Are.

I just hope that I don't spend the rest of this year eating sushi (which isn't so bad) and disappointed and always fighting and being lazy asses in front of the tube.

My point is, even though my new year's eve wasn't as glam-ed out as I expected, I still had a mellow fun night at the end, sans the booze. 2010 can expect me:
a) eating healthier - sushi
b) don't expect big things just have fun with the flow - didn't go to embarcadero but had a good night
c) mellow out - movie in

Stuck

2009-12-14T06:06:00.000-08:00

I'm here at the airport again but this time it's early as hell. It's 6 am in the morning, I haven't slept since I got off work around 1am and my body feels like bok choy about to flop over.

On the plane I plan on ... sleeping. Or if I sit next to someone annoying, excluding my mom, I will start making my Christmas shopping list.
Speaking of Christmas, I hate Christmas. It's the most miserable time of year for me.

2009-12-09T00:48:00.000-08:00

H&M Spring 2010, things I like.

2009-12-09T00:43:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I wish I lived in San Francisco. Even tough I hate the weather over there, I love the city itself. Lots of restaurants to eat at and good shopping places even when you're on a budget. I'm trying to talk my mom into moving there permanently. If I lived there I would love to get a Vespa and I would really save up for it :)

I think overall I'm just inspired San Francisco. The geometry of the city appeals to me and the way the people are completes the whole feel and vibe of the calmness and tranquility (except for fighting bums and such).

Just a thought, it would be nice.

2009-12-01T01:35:00.001-08:00

Hoodlum

2009-11-29T03:33:00.000-08:00

Death eater hoodie, yum.

Toucan Nights

2009-10-14T23:57:00.001-07:00

My Dock Library isn't compatible to Snow Leopard, got to get a new one.

2009-10-09T01:54:00.001-07:00

The one who loves less has more power in the relationship.

Should I believe in that? Before I got into this whole 'girlfriend' thing, I was selfish - SERIOUSLY. I only thought of myself, ie: never bought groceries for the house and never did shit for anybody and when someone asked me for something, something else had to be done in return. Wow what a devil in prada I was. Love truly turns a person around. Should I even say 'love', maybe it's lust or self-lessness now. Whatever this emotion that has encompassed me and my brain has turned things around.

Now I cry in movies, buy my mom my dad and brother shit other than their birthdays, buy groceries not only for myself but when my mom needs things and not ask her for things in return. Maybe it's the fact that I also work, but now I'd rather buy them things than buy me that fall 2009 purse.

So where am I getting to? I should say that I feel like I'm the one with more feelings or the one loving more and caring more. Does that mean I'm power-less (not powerless). I still try to put up this wall between us but every time I start building, something knocks it down or I refuse to keep at it. Damn it, someone give me a construction lesson!

I want to be the one in Prada's! Be the one that doesn't cry, be the one that gives commands and be the one in power. In this situation, the pants should be shared but even when I'm the one working at it, I'm the one still pussying out to say what I feel. But when put in a relationship, one has to be self-less. Follow the flow of things and even accept the fact that even if you're the one with more compassion, you shouldn't feel to be the one with less power.

My moleskine is missing in action so I'm reverting back to blogger.

Dance Lessons by Seannie

2009-10-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

And yes, I'm friends with this guy. oot oooot!

HAHA

2009-09-28T00:56:00.001-07:00

boycrazy in bed from alexi wasser on Vimeo.

Colette Jewelry

2009-09-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

CADA Bone Bracelet

DELFINA DELETTREZ Starfish Bracelet

LIGIA DIAS Twist Bracelet (my favorite one)

LANVIN Strass Necklace & close-up

We miss you baby girl.

2009-08-26T02:02:00.000-07:00

I WANT I WANT I WANT

2009-08-23T13:22:00.001-07:00

Trying so hard to keep my money in stacks, but i just end up with pocket change til next pay day.

ME WANT WANT WANT, yummm.

Hey it's how I feel.

2009-08-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

via B.B.

She's still my G

2009-07-23T01:07:00.000-07:00

They'll never make cigarettes as classy as us, thanks J!

Girl Crush

2009-07-11T01:21:00.000-07:00

It happens.

Ciao Kodachrome

2009-06-29T02:54:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was a young lad, little girl - petite femme; whatever! I hung around my parents' work place after school everyday, I think atelier or studio would be a more precise fit though ... Anyways, both my mom and dad majored in fine arts in college, so they did painting and sketching and drawing and photography. I remember clawing through the shelves above my dad's desk and finding sketches and Pantone books but also old processed film and such; and I also found some tiny little slides that read "KODACHROME" on the bottom.

Well, now Kodak has made the decision to stop the production of Kodachrome film.

Why are great things coming to an end summer of 2009?

picture via Reyerd @ Flickr.

Jimmy Choo x H&M

2009-06-29T02:20:00.000-07:00

Burning holes in pockets circa '91.

Rickey's Dog

2009-06-28T03:47:00.001-07:00

2009-06-27T19:11:00.001-07:00

I prayed last night for the first time for a very long time.

MJ NOOOOOO!

2009-06-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

You gotta admit, everytime you hear a Michael Jackson song you're reminiscent of a special moment, or if you haven't lived that long you just want to dance to Rock Wit U. We will all miss you Michael Jackson! And I know Jimmy Poon is probably crying himself to sleep.

This is getting me really wet

2009-06-26T00:20:00.001-07:00

i love/hate this city

2009-06-23T00:30:00.000-07:00

My pre-vacation gym trips all went to the drain ... sadly.

I saw this burger place on Food Network a while ago and I finally found it in Ocean Beach. Didn't want to go in because the line wrapped around the block, oh the hype ...

OH YEAAAAAAAH <3 it's not a virgin.

Cold Soul

2009-06-22T02:07:00.001-07:00

I didn't know it was going to come down to this

2009-06-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

Self timer rocks!

I left my heart in San Francisco

2009-05-31T23:53:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing weekend started out with drinks on Friday. Then on Saturday was Meredith's birthday, too bad I couldn't stay long because Drew surprised me with tickets to The Roots. It was at the Davies Symphony Hall, yummmm <3

?uestlove!!!

Love it

Radio Shows and Party Hoes

2009-05-28T18:47:00.000-07:00

thanks for the good times, look at Jered the token white boy haha

fuck yeaaaa

2009-05-22T16:21:00.000-07:00

things happening this 3 day weekend:

En Soiree
Stockton with cousins!
Memorial Day
Drew comes back from backpacking
drive mommy to airport for her business trip!

"And I know that it's so cliche to tell you that everyday I spend with you is the new best day of my life"

2009-05-17T04:14:00.000-07:00

posting informally @ 4:20 am.

Hands down really, the BEST WEEK OF MY SENIOR YEAR! (besides sr week and graduation, i'll judge later on that) but seriously! ... i know it's only been a little more than 8 months since Drew and I have been dating, (look at me talking like i'm expert of long relationships PFFFFT) plus my senior year hasn't been living up to what i've expected it to be. yet! i still don't know the full him and i want to invest as much time possible even if it takes a while, because i plan to take this really slooowwwwly. and on Wednesday he finally told me the L word and i was all fucking giggly on the inside despite the tears in my eyes.

We spent the majority of the week together, from Tuesday til yesterday. i don't know how that happened because we rarely see each other during the weekdays.

Started out Tuesday, because his roomie was pissing him off and he came over to just chill and get away from the city. he came over and we made dinner and just watched our favorite late night shows, Jay Leno.

The next day i wanted to see him before i picked up my mom at the airport, so i picked him up at his house and we walked on the beach near SF Zoo. (YES! we actually enjoy walks on the beach together, and the last time we did that was the first time we met at Santa Cruz.) we then picked up my mom and this whole miscommunication about who's driving who ended up me going back to his house and he took me with him to look at places because he wants to move out of his current place. looking at places together was fun :) i felt like we were looking at places for us, but that was just my imagination. but he still kept asking me what i thought about the places and if it was enough room for 'us' ... then for some reason he ended up driving to my house anyway and stayed for breakfast because i had late start the next day.

Then on friday I FREAKING COULDN'T GET INTO BATTLE! that was so gay, so i ended up driving my mom to her dinner at Burlingame because Brent was already there waiting for her. then i just headed to the city. drove around to look for some late dinner (Pad Thai) for me and we watched a movie to sleep to.

Lastly, today we were supposed to go the gym together but i didn't have any running shoes with me. instead, we grabbed brunch at The Pork Store (i know it sounds really fatty) on the Haight. they have good breakfast stuff, probably not just gonna eat there again because i sat on the counter and the foods greasier than i expected. we went into the TRUE stores and he ended up picking this shirt as "a super duper late" b-day gift. but i refused for it to be my bday gift because he sucks :P

plus what made this week 10x better was i saw Jive Theory, had a cipher with Ill-Literacy! got to hang out with JP from Boxchuttuz and SUUUUPER CREW! @ Soul Speak

pour toi

2009-05-17T04:02:00.001-07:00

Hope you enjoyed that :)

Life

2009-05-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm really enjoying it right now. Want to experience it with me? Just hit me up :)

Happy Birthday Dad & Happy Mothers Day Ma

2009-05-10T19:46:00.000-07:00

Despite all the hardships this family has suffered, they're still the best.

Broham

2009-05-10T01:18:00.000-07:00

This post was on my brothers Myspace and it made me extremely sad. But I'm happy that he can write a great poem, forget the type o's.

"Look at this photo
What do you see
Nothing but a happy family ,with there years of fun ahead of them
Mom and Dad ,Hand in hand, Waking up face to face
Brother and sister, Fight like a never ending twister
But lets skip ahead about ten years or so.
When her fights about toys, Become fights about boys
When the hand in hand
Forgot why they said i do and now wake up miles away
The brother and the sister now never fight,
Because theyre headsare under separate roofs.
Daugter with the Mother
Father with the Son
This is what is left, of a teenage boy , a divorced couple, and Young adult going on to collage.
This is what is left of me and my family.
-By me , and by me i mean miguel, not miggy. Because if it were miggy , This would have had a happy ending "

Friday Post May 8

2009-05-09T02:41:00.000-07:00

I had the best nap today and woke up to Drew's e-mails from his past trips to Taiwan, Vietnam and Thailand. Here's one funny part:

"everything is the same with me, still getting the unwanted attention from gay men everywhere i go. just got the most ridiculous comment from one of my sisters co-workers, that he is so proud to know me cause all his gay friends saw me working out at the gym and they didnt know who i was but he was the only one who knew me."

Funny thing is he still gets hit on by gay guys here haha.

Then at 8 Diana* drove me to the airport and on the way there she told me some funny stories, and then ghost stories haha, I even waited for her to tell me another one before jumping on my flight. I was transferred to an early flight and got to San Diego at 10:30 rather than 11:00pm. Studied my anatomy diagrams on the plane and watched the guy who sat next to me write a last minute Mothers Day letter. I'm starting to like airplane peanuts ...

Went to Via Lago Trattoria for their late night bar and met bartenders Autumn and Adam. The owner was there for the night so that meant the yellow Ferrari was parked outside. Had the carpaccio di salmoni with a shirley temple and a 'ccino on the house.

* I'm lightweight mad about today because I asked hella people if they could drive me to the airport. It doesn't take that long to drive to the San Jose airport, really. I asked people to drive me a week ago and told me the day of my flight that they couldn't. I asked multiple people and it really disappointed me that none of them could even spare me a favor. It made me feel like the people who say "Oh I got your back" rarely come through and felt like I didn't have real friends. One person even had the guts to use it as an excuse to argue with me. I'll get over it but I ended up going through my phone and asking Diana to take me, even though we never really hung out she was down, maybe because we've talked about grabbing lunch together before but never got to it. She's so sexy driving her Scion.
Thank you Diana!

Happy Birthday B-ry!

2009-05-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

Weather was nice on Wednesday. Started the day out nicely, woke up early, made breakfast and drove to school. Even though I got into an accident after school its okay, it's because Vince was talking to me and I wasn't paying attention! Freaking ayeeee, it was my fault though. I called my dad first because I knew he would understand all the stupid things I do, then I called Tim, and then Drew and they were just laughing at me ... fuckers.

Then it was Bryan's birthday at Sushi 85, I had Tim take out the Porsche for me. My mom's gonna kill me ... but I trust Tim because he's a good driver. He was so nervous that I was laughing to myself and I tried taking a picture ... but this doesn't even capture his nervousness.

Thank you for inviting me Bryan and Happy Birthday! And for the Sprinkles cupcake.

I had round 2 of dinner at the bar at The Counter with Drew. We watched the Lakers game together, mmmm fun. I realize I really like taking my dates (and my cousin) to eat there.

lol Aaron!

<3

Laughing at mySELF.

2009-05-06T01:34:00.000-07:00

Once in a while a good day passes by, today was one of those days.

Started out by making a milkshake
ripe mangoes
whole milk
ice
organic blue agave
Strawberry Haagen Dazs
... since I didn't have a blender I just used the food processor which was a dumb idea because it wasn't meant for liquids and I just ended up making a mess but the product was still good. So I just laughed at myself.

Then washed the CR-V. The hose at the carwash infront of my house said "Warning: High Pressure Hose" and yet I remain to ignore it. I pulled the house trigger and I was whipped to the wall, good thing no one was watching haha. So I just laughed at myself.
Then I started to scrub the rest of the rims and bought tire shine .. then it started to sprinkle ... thanks dude.

The warm rain was nice, it reminded me of the Philippines.

Went to Smoke Eaters for dinner cause I wasn't bout to cook dinner. I ate with Jessica which was cool cause I always just see her around but never got to talkin. I haven't been there in a while but you can surely find most of your friends there on a Tuesday night; Santa Clara High School, Fremont kids, SCU students, Milpitas heads, Cupertino, koreans with nice cars, SCHS Baseball team, and SJSU Fixies ... who my friend "The JR" is part of and he showed me tricks on his fixie =)

So then I thought of getting a bike and quit riding my car ... but then I just laughed at myself.

Auspicious

2009-05-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

I had an excellent weekend, spent most of it with the boys for Amanda's cotillion. I'm really glad I got to hang out with my Breeze Tammy, despite all the bad things I heard about her, she definitely shined through the gossip and proved to me she's still the same girl since 8th grade.

We got to sippin to loosen up before the waltz and I didn't know she was down like that! <3

I hate driving to the airport, this weekend I was at SFO on Friday and Sunday for Earl and then this morning I had to drive my mommy and Brent to Oakland airport before school. Airports are definitely a bittersweet place to be.

Drew is sick, he has a sore throat and slight coughing I guess. He called me during the Lakers game (which I watched without him!) to confirm that it's not Strep throat, whew. I'm probably going to end up driving there on Wednesday to take care of dinner. It definitely makes me feel like a good girlfriend to be taking care of him because he took care of me 3259802952 times.
Girls, appreciate your man ... or men.

Cappucino & Cigarettes.

2009-04-30T02:02:00.001-07:00

A perfect girls night out.

Toats Ma Goats

2009-04-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

I just got home from San Francisco. Thanks honey for paying my parking ticket, and making me dinner and not getting mad at me because I beat you in wrestling.

=)

Pick-Ups

2009-04-26T22:59:00.000-07:00

My most recent pick ups: Vintage NAGEL Playboy portfolio, one of many bathing suits from Target, PiXi water blush I use as lip tint, purse from Therapy, new incense from East West, and a fresh box of HELLAAAAA OREOS!

He's A Jerk

2009-04-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

and he likes to listen to Disney Princesses.

Only The Beginning Looking Forward to the End

2009-04-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

... Like any other motherfucking schoolweek! Anyway, the good thing about this week is that Earl is here, that jerk all the way from Inglewood, yup. But until Thursday only :(

HAPPY 4/20!

I didn't blaze today.

I'm foreeeeaaaaaaal not looking forward to this week, but let Thursday night/Friday come so I can:

THURSDAY:
1.Spend time with Kuya Timmy and maybe Kuya Vince.

FRIDAY:
1. NOT GO TO SCHOOL.
2. Go to Stockton and to court and fix my traffic violation.
3. Visit my cousins
4. Drive back to San Francisco
5. Squeeze my stupid bf a bit of time
6. Go to ...

Cal!

2009-04-14T03:01:00.000-07:00

I'm currently spending 2/3 of my spring break in Berkeley and San Francisco.

So far it's going pretty well.

Buying Soy Sauce WILL INDEED Give You Yellow Fever

2009-04-03T02:42:00.000-07:00

And because we all fucking dip onion rings into soy sauce ... creeper.

Can you come get me ... my friends left me.

2009-04-01T01:58:00.000-07:00

I went to San Jose with my mum after school and she went to the bank to get money, she withdrew 9 grand in 100 dollar bills and I held it in my hand when she was driving. For some odd reason, I just had the urge to roll down the window and throw it all away. I don't know why.

Around 10 o'clock or so Chris texts me saying he's alone at Tapioca Express because his friends left him, I laughed my butt off and got over it then picked him and up we hung out until he had to go back to SJSU.

Ode to April,
Mon Avril, ah oui. It would really be helpful if you were great, I can feel it April. You will be warm and sunny on the days I want you to be and you'll be overcast and gloomy when I want you to be. It gives me the excuse to stay inside and cuddle with my baby. Spring break is within your power, let it be great. It be spending time with my friends at the beach or anywhere. March was so shitty for me, so better yet, redeem yourself oh April. There's another thing you sunny month, I'm turning 18 ... soon! Let me not obtain lung cancer and buy all the cigarettes and fume fume fume tout le temps. I want to see my dad and because I miss him, oh April please make that happen. S'il vous plait Avril, s'il vous plait. Pepper my weekends with indie rock clubs and sunny Sundays at the farmers market. Don't let me down April. S'il vous plait Avril, s'il vous plait.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can tell I'm really lazy to scan my pictures.

1. Kat during Drama
2. Boys enjoying their lunch a bit too much
3. my girls at Acapulco

35mm

2009-03-29T17:03:00.001-07:00

Yumm.

OmNomNomNomNom

2009-03-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

I'm so lazy, but my obsessive compulsion of being a neat freak came into fruition a couple of days ago when I was sick and tired of kicking clothes and shit around my floor.

And my new favorite heels from the studio, omnomnomnomnom<3

After School Errands

2009-03-26T02:27:00.000-07:00

After school, I usually have something to do (ie. school event practice, drama, make-up work) but today I didn't have to dance, to recite lines or to make-up work for any classes. I was supposed to hang out with Chris before he left for Tahoe but he left earlier than expected, so for once in a blue moon I had a free afternoon ...

I decided to go home for a bit to grab a snack and watch some television. Wassup Rockers is on OnDemand which made me really happy but I didn't watch it because I wanted to wait to watch it with someone else, I've been wanting to watch this movie since I was a sophomore but never got the chance to.

Headed to downtown Sunnyvale to do my homework at the library but then I passed by Murphy station and decided to fuck homework and do shopping.

First, I stopped by Leigh's Favorite Books, they have a good selection of new and used books. I spent about an hour studying the 35 mm photography and film development books they had. Then I tried finding the poetry section but I was too scared to ask the guy at the counter because he was too cute, and I seemed too ... naive?

Then, to the fish store around the corner to find freshwater fish for the big fish bowl my mom bought a while back. I always find peace and calm in fish stores (except for the one in Mountain View b/c it's too crowded). There's always a little kid or toddler amazed by all the fish and they always say the same thing at the clown fish, "Mommy look! It's Nemo!"

Then I headed to the Lunatic Fringe, which is a store that sells belly dance costumes and Indian goods as well as African baskets. Of course I had to check out the incense section and the Nag Champa, but damn I forgot cash.

In other news ... I'm drowning in film that's yet to be developed from seeing Paul at the 'free picnic', Tim's s2000, & the yellow taxicabs. Boo ...

ABOUT ME

2009-03-26T02:14:00.000-07:00

Everytime I get bored, I always try to write a summary of myself and what I've learned in life on MYSPACE. How ironic, sometimes it ends up just being dull and I erase it the following day. Though at other times I end up writing something good and thoughtful or sad, and sometimes bitchy. Here's what I came up with today ...

"so i guess i'll start out with my name, hannah trinidad. born on a sunny summer in the philippines but now celebrates it during spring in california. i'm torn apart from my home and was forced to assimilate as how my other cousins' grew up coming to california. graduating in two months not knowing where to go is the worst thing 4 years of education can do to you. atleast, i plan on going to cc and doing a transfer to ucsd, where the weather reminds me of my childhood. then go to med school and so on.

i'm still trying to understand why life is cruel to us yet it's great at the same time. and why we all take it for granted, taking myself as an example. why do i want to go to school for 10 years, i don't know. really, i want to be an artist or a photographer because my parents grew up as masters in fine arts and graphic design. looking at them i really can't go the same way, i guess its because in the beginning they thought they wanted the same thing. my mom always tells me to ask myself 'is this what i really want later on?' but how can i ask myself this if i don't even know where i am now.

people always tell you TO LIVE TODAY, but how can you do everything you've ever wanted to do in such a short amount of time. i guess i'm just ranting now but it's just a thought because i'm so confused."

Waffles, Falafels?

2009-03-23T03:32:00.000-07:00

Most loser ever, Derek was trying to arm wrestle Paul and he pulls in his own arm onto the table not noticing his donut. After A final tug, he squishes the donut and all the custard out of it.

And then he tells me this ...

Derek: we should get that one things you were talking about
Me: what one things
Derek: i forgot
something like
really really good pancakes
Me: wtf ...
Derek: yeah miss drunkness
i think back at your house
you wer elike
blah blah blh
amazing
Me: you're making this up
i don't remember talking about pancakes
what was i doing when i was talking about them
Derek: OH!
ok i think it's spelled wrong
i mean i'm spelling it wrong
but
falafel?
Me: ooohh WTF pancakes ... hahah
Derek: i was thinking
waffle
then falafel
.. same thing

Derek: i don't know what falafels are

The Fall

2009-03-20T02:30:00.000-07:00

I'm simply fascinated by movies with great directing and very dreamlike scenes. Sophia Copolla, George Lucas, Michel Gondry, & Tarsem Singh.

*Paul if you're reading this, watch the trailer. We're going to save up for the next Sundance Film Festival :)

Lent

2009-03-18T00:54:00.000-07:00

A little late but it's still funny. This is to all those who gave up something for lent, including myself. May you last til Easter ... good luck.

2009-03-18T00:35:00.000-07:00

"Pull the curtain from the window, time to get up baby let me make this bed up. Today we going shopping blow 30 on me, make it 60, spend it like you really love me. Skip dinner and we gon rent a movie, you order chinese food right before you do me. This is how it feels when you do it like me
We trading places" -- Usher, Trading Places

I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait, can't wait, can't wait, can't wait!

Weekends

2009-03-17T00:30:00.000-07:00

"There is always some madness in love, but there is also always some reason in madness."

-- Friedrich Nietzsche (as told with error by Mr. Ansaldo)

Some pictures from last weekend

Crazy drunk drum party in downtown Mountain View after some hoot "Thai Coffee" and cheese-fries-spread at In & Out in MV as well. Damn Cupertino kids took over the Sunnyvale In & Out.

Dog bowl in the entrance of Gap or Neiman Marcus (I forgot) @ Stanford shopping center. I always find it hilarious when dogs are treated like babies, I think it's sickeningly cute. Although when I do get a dog, I'll actually train it to do tricks rather than pee in different spots around my house unlike my cousins' dogs.

In case you didn't know, SENIORS 2009 won Battle of The Classes by 20 points beating the Junior class. Maybe next time they'll learn that 'fuck' is actually a curse word rather than a dance move ...

On Saturday, enjoyed some NY pizza and beer and watched Transporters 3 with Andrew. The next day we headed to downtown Menlo Park for Stacks' omelettes and spent time at the farmers market. He got a crapload of almonds (ew) and I just awwed at all dogs being walked and taste tested everything :)

That's me with my glowing 3m Nikes!

2009-03-10T01:51:00.000-07:00

Oh jeez, I never thought I'd say this but ... I am so in love and I can't help it! Why?! I told myself I wouldn't. Oh well.

For those 7 months .... :)
Thank you honey for taking really good care of me, you've been amazing.

GALISON, New York

2009-03-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

Thank you Galison NY for sending in my new weekly planner. Free stuff and perks, yay!

I'm debating whether I should start 'organizing' my weeks after my birthday or right now. I'm allowing myself to be a mess for the rest of the month because it's my last month of being a minor! I hate and love growing up, although in saying that I might as well speak on the behalf of a lot of my friends.

Purse Therapy

2009-03-05T01:38:00.001-08:00

Monday after school, my mom and I ate at Neto on Castro Street in Mountain View. Its a Mediterranean cafe that serves good lamb. I recommend the cucumber salad, I'm not sure if it has a particular name and also their kebabs are good and cooked perfectly.

Yelp reviews: Neto Cafe and Bakery

Every time I go to Castro Street, I always have to have to (and it's a must) visit Therapy boutique. I miss Michelle when she used to work there, she was great and I always had a decent economy-fashion chat with her. I don't know if it's just me or their retail stock has lessened. There are definitely fewer clothes racks and furniture in there. Or maybe I visit too much that I've seen everything already.

Here's their purse shelf, which is amazing. I might end up getting the green and brown tote duffle hybrid purse. I know it doesn't sound like a good color mixture.

via Blackberry

But since I went to Stussy the other day, and they didn't have the duffle I wanted, oh well. Or I might end up ordering it online.

I hate ordering online! It takes ages to ship even though it says 3-7 business days, yeah right, my ass!

After Lunch

2009-03-01T17:28:00.000-08:00

Mum: *hands me 50 dollars
Me: "Give it to me later, I don't need it."
Mum: "Are you sure? It's gonna be gone later."
Me: "I have your card."
Mum: "Is that a threat?!"

Haha.

Reason why I told her that was because she's giving me a half day on Tuesday to go to San Francisco and go to the Tea Garden and YSL exhibition. And then I'm gonna drag her to Stussy to buy the new Hellz x Stussy collaboration. It's kinda whack and honestly I like it because they're my two favorite brands. Hellz went down the drain this past year.

Import

2009-02-27T01:35:00.001-08:00

Earlier, I was debating whether I should write a note to myself on Facebook or write an entry in my Blogger. I have way too many online accounts, for now I've only been keeping up Blogger, Yelp, & Facebook. Though I just recently found out that I could import entries onto my Facebook from various accounts.

Yay, more reasons to procrastinate!

Nevertheless, I'm not half as bad as other people who keep useless accounts or play online games, no offense. I use Yelp for an obvious reason and other accounts for outside use.

Fourteen Things

2009-02-23T22:47:00.000-08:00

Fourteen things Andrew did for me on the Fourteenth of February.

1. Baked white chocolate raspberry cupcakes
2. Drove me around San Francisco
3. Took care of me because I had the fever
4. Baked blueberry muffins
5. Made chocolate covered strawberries
6. Made sure I didn't do anything
7. Made sure I got better
8. Grocery shopping
9. Drive some more
10. Went to the beach
11. Went around the hills
12. Watched movies
13. Cooked dinner, Minnestrone
14. You know.

Happy Birthday

2009-02-05T23:11:00.001-08:00

I wonder which one's your favorite part, or which part most touched your heart. Or if you liked all of it, or if you wished you never even read any of it.

Oy vay

2009-02-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

Sunday was too forced, Monday was too overwhelming and today was boring. Valentines day will determine everything; I'm crossing my fingers.

If only life was all but white sheets ...

2009-02-02T21:44:00.000-08:00

Let the commercial play, its a very cute video.

Hahahaha

2009-02-01T13:32:00.000-08:00

February,

2009-02-01T01:46:00.000-08:00

Ode to February 2009:
I hope you will be a good month February 2009, I feel it. Don't let me down! I ended January watching The Uninvited and the Curious Case of Benjamin Button and I started you with the ending of Benjamin Button a good pizza slice from A Slice of New York with my best friend and we barely made closing time. That's a good sign yeah? Today is Super Bowl too, so lets let the team my baby rooting for win, I like seeing him when his team wins.

List of Favors:
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
my new pair of denims
half and half iced tea and lemonade
"The Queenstons"
Marc Jacobs Daisy, too bad I don't have the dark scent
The Satorialist's photograhs of well dressed men
gray, gray and more shades of gray, i will never stop loving gray
minimalism
Mr. Ansaldo, because he quoted Nietzsche

Yumm,

2009-01-28T04:41:00.000-08:00

Nice outfit.

European Asian = EurAsian? Aspean? Dunno, still yummy.

Disturbed Circadian Rhythm

2009-01-09T03:13:00.000-08:00

For the past week, and perhaps at other random situations, my "body clock" (as what most people would refer to it) is seemingly lost somewhere along the PST of time.

Right when I get out of school, I either go home and take my well deserved nap or run errands. Running errands like returning that impulse buy from last weeks shopping or running to Whole Foods to snack on free samples. Either way I return home tired and watch some well deserved movie and fall asleep on the couch only to find myself waking up at the crack of midnight!

I end up keeping myself awake forcing my brain to apprehend to the thought of homework. This at most, is my worst bad habit second to procrastinating. Anyway - hopefully after finals week, during my five-day weekend break, I will grab my chance at resetting this upsetting habit.

In other news, after many flights ... my Fendi suitcase finally gave up and one of the straps broke.
One, because I stuff too much clothes the tiny poor thing.
Two, Southwest Airline Employees need to learn how to decide whether to treat a piece of luggage poorly and maybe do their job carefully! I know this because I watch them unload carriage before I get off the 747.

The handles are as decadent as dark chocolate, but I'll cease the diet because it'll never happen.

Whatever, its now 3:30 am.

Entrepeneur of Film

2009-01-08T03:45:00.000-08:00

If you knew me, I'm in love with various movies and films and take time watching loads of it. I enjoy them, it's as plain as that. It's always been a habit of mine to watch at least one movie almost everyday thanks to Netflix and living close to a Blockbuster. A few given movies on my favorites list include the Ocean's trilogy, The Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind and Spanglish, my recent favorite chick movies are My Sassy Girl (No! Not the Korean one) and The Women. But there's something about animated films that gets to me especially if it comes from Disney and Pixar. Here are two films I'm looking forward to watching this year. And considering the fact that I now have gift tickets to AMC theatres ... yay.

Disney finally comes out with a traditional hand-drawn animated film in five years with a fairy tale set in New Orleans during the Jazz Age, something's very different about this Disney Princess.

And Pixar's "Up".

First things first,

2009-01-06T02:20:00.000-08:00

Talking to my cousin made me feel a whole lot better, even though I am crushed under a lot of stress I could only blame myself for the situation I'm in. I still love both my mommy and my daddy, but I seriously need a break. There is hope that there is still that sunshine I'm longing for after this rainstorm.

I need to learn how to prioritize things, and first on that list is my sanity. Keeping myself rooted on the things I want is very hard, and there are so much factors that make me feel like life is nothing but a trail the leads to nowhere.

Help?

Happy New Years

2009-01-05T02:37:00.001-08:00

2009, this is it. Sorry it's late, its just second nature.

Resolutions;
reach enlightenment!
get new running shoes,
stop eating Jack In The Box so much (with the exception of curly fries),
stop shopping so much,
invest in a real relationship,
and reach enlightenment again.

OH, and sleep earlier.

Me: Hey I wanted to see if you'd go snowboarding w. me after my finals, I have a 5 day weekend and probably gonna go Tahoe ... though you're prob way better than me boarding.
Andrew: Maybe better, how good are you? Can you atleast make it down the mountain.
Me: You're so mean! Of course I can.
Andrew: I just can't babysit someone 30 mins to make it down a run.
Andrew: As long as you can stay up and make it down I'd love to go with you.

That made me not want to bring him along.

Prisoner of Unspoken Words

2008-12-15T16:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel as if I can connect to Alicia Keys' Def Jam performance, despite the lack of power in her poetry. There are days when words do not want to come out of my mouth. No matter how talkative I get, my words seem to remain without meaning and lust. So I resort to my black leather-bound moleskin notebook and write away. Until I found ...

The book has an audio CD which I listen to in the mornings. Maybe inspire my wardrobe? Inspire my mornings? Inspire me even as far as to perming my hair, and I'm still debating to either cut or perm hmmmm ...

Things I Love About The Opposite Sex,

2008-12-08T00:58:00.000-08:00

11. Your sweaty post-workout rawness.
It provides that glow in his cheeks that resembled when we first met ... just kidding. But you just sweating in basketball shorts and a shirt is so masculine it drives me insane.

10. When you dress really sophisticated.
That it speaks out your style and presents the "inner you", ascot not necessary.

09. Silly faced photographs.
Sure, why not? It shows the simplistic sophomoric humor in everyone.

08. Excellent taste in movies.
I guess we can watch Marvel ... but sometimes it would be nice if we actually watched a movie that had a good story. Something like Bobby or Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

07. Your attitude with other people, animals and kids.
You don't have to be a social butterfly, but don't be the lonesome wall flower either.

06. Spaghetti with meatballs.
I love a man that can cook a good foie gras, but a man that also shows that he tries to cook up a storm and makes a mess in the kitchen even when its only the classic spaghetti and meatballs is a killer turn-on. So pop that 8 dollar vino and cozy up on the couch.

05. Your underwear.
It says a lot! Either those silk boxers were given to you or ... let's just not say.

04. Patience.
It doesn't have to a virtue. I don't understand how you can wait that long and still be okay. But I love it! And of course I'm always so patient when I watch Sunday night football and all your roomies are screaming in my ear.

03. Your insatiable appetite.
For anything and everything ... and then some!

02. That look.
You always tell me I give you the same look when I'm angry or wanting something or when we're just driving around ... well so do you! But I love your look because it means I've dug into your emotions, haha.

01. Your bad ass self-reliance.
I love how you take care of yourself and don't need me for everything. Hey, I'm not your mom.

Sushimisu

2008-12-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

Japonaise et Italienne.

Canon Exposures

2008-12-03T01:16:00.001-08:00

Playing around with exposure and light, play iSpy and tell me what you see.

My body clock is still messed up. Still having a hard time to sleep.

Thanksgiving a la SoCal

2008-12-03T01:07:00.000-08:00

I couldn't take pictures during Thanksgiving dinner due to my over active/hyper little cousins, enjoy.

Dropped by the Gaslamp District, thanks 5 and a dime for the Hellz shirt, made a good deal.

Dad's neighborhood.

One Day Poetry

2008-12-02T03:42:00.001-08:00

for drama class, inspired by Mayde de Valle.

The Things That Don't Pass Me By ...

2008-12-01T03:30:00.000-08:00

A List Of Matters I Like ... Lately;

feathers ... you can judge from my earrings at school
cardigans (i probably bought 5 in the last month),
brown and khaki
leather!
loose pants
fried banana a la mode coconut ice cream (very thai)
STEVIE NADER - amazing voice, amazing looks, very nice clothes
do the math .....
the simple cereal ... corn pops, honey nut cheerios, O's
Q-tip "the renaissance"

I'm awake and I have school in 5 hours, probably because I didn't do anything exciting during the day. Besides the fact I was stuck at the San Diego Airport for 3 hours in a sea of delayed flights due to the heavy San Diego fog. There was ATC (air traffic "control") delayed flights meaning ... I don't know what it means.

In my surly imagination, as I was sitting amongst a sea of people waiting to get out of San Diego, ATC was the equivalent to when planes circle in the sky not knowing what to do. Just going in circles waiting patiently for the fog to go away. Passengers being offered packaged peanuts and pretzels.

Yup, my thanksgiving was okay. I was in Southern Cal the whole break, meaning I shopped a lot and ate a lot and slept a lot and … spent a summation of time watching movies from my dad’s great DVD collection.

Filipino CNN

2008-11-11T22:32:00.001-08:00

Barack to The Habit

2008-11-08T02:41:00.000-08:00

HOPE

2008-11-04T03:22:00.001-08:00

via http://digitaljournalist.org/issue0810/callie-bp.html

Sand a la Kerr

2008-09-18T23:23:00.001-07:00

I want this dress.

I thought Costco was wholesale? How come there's only one kid in your basket.

2008-09-11T23:56:00.000-07:00

Never leave your kids unattended, especially at wholesale markets where there are huge birds waiting for people to leave their leftovers. Your kid might be mistaken, I'm not kidding.

The little boy was cute nevertheless and he was left to himself for a good 25 mins, or as long as I ate my chicken bake.

via Sidekick

Paris, Je t'aime.

2008-09-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

If only I lived there, I'd see Colette everyday.

colette x hello kitty

via Colette.fr

Labor Day Weekend

2008-09-01T05:33:00.000-07:00

Who needs a push up bra ... when you have Trang!

Bittersweet.

2008-08-27T01:23:00.000-07:00

The beginning of a farewell.

via http://www.radio2012.blogspot.com

Stockton

2008-08-06T06:37:00.000-07:00

I love spending time in Stockton, especially at my Kuya Timmy's house where a herd of daschunds greet you once you step through the front door. I also like spending time with the Amens, especially Auntie Yo's kids. I also like not sleeping, sometimes, and watching the sunrise.

How corny, haha.

Gotta drive home in 3 hours, I'm tired of driving.

Monterey Slay

2008-08-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning realizing I knocked out from last nights happenings, hah.

Monterey is not a happy place, unless you're hungry. Clam chowder was the bomb and of course it wouldn't be the bomb unless you're spending a bomb ass day with two bombi friends ... and Zila later on at the beach. The drive was exhausting, seeing that on which side of hwy 17 I was ... there was also strenuous traffic.

And on the plus side there was a Turkish festival going on at the Wharf.

After the Wharf we drove an hour north to my secret beach, its not really a secret but I'd like to think of it that way since no one really goes there.

Those dogs were only 12 months old, oy vay.

Pictures via Canon sd550, finally found my camera, ha!

On the other side of things, I'm just trying to go along with the flow of events taking place as summer goes by. Spending time with a friend from Southern Cal and trying to clean up this mess I've made somewhere else outside of town. Wish me luck ... I know the matter is somewhat worth it because that's what my heart told me in the beginning.